22 April 2011

Ovaries are stupid

So on Tuesday when I was waiting for my acupuncture appointment, I got this horrible pain in my lower right side.  I do get those kinds of pain whenever I ovulate, so I didn't really think much about it, aside from "Holy shit, that hurts ALOT more than usual."  I haven't had my period in forever (like, since October forever) so I thought maybe the reason it hurt so much was my machinery is rusty, so to speak.  My acupuncturist even did some pain points during treatment, which helped a little, but not as much as it usually does.  She commented at the end that my pain pulse was "punchy" which is super weird for me.
So the day goes on and the pain never goes away.  I also just didn't feel "right."  I couldn't put my finger on it, but I felt weird.  Eventually my mom says that it does hurt where my appendix is.  I look up appendicitis, and I pretty much had every symptom.  Despite this, which I think says how bad I was feeling, I didn't mention anything about it and just went and laid down.  Around midnight my mom looked it up and realised I had every symptom.  She wanted to take me to the hospital and I honestly just wanted to sleep.  Eventually she convinces me I need to go to the hospital and we get there close to 1am.
I had bloodwork and an IV port (which made me feel shittier than it usually does.  I always get sick when I have blood drawn, this time it was worse, of course) and waited an hour to be told, congrats, I'm not pregnant.  (I have a rant about the mandatory pregnancy tests, which you the patient pay for, but I'll save it for another time when I'm not struggling against oxycotin to write).  The doctor comes over another hour later and pokes around until he finds the magic spot where I'm like "HOLY F CK THAT HURTS." And he goes, "Well, looks like appendicitis.  You'll need a CT scan."  So, over the course of three hours I'm supposed to drink about 30oz of barium.  Which made me feel even more nauseous than I was, and I had to be given IV meds for it which made me even more tired than I was.
So I go the scan and have to wait much longer than usual for the results because they were working on the network or something and having data sharing issues.  I've clearly had too many tests in the past, because they start telling me with and how it's going to make me feel weird when they inject the contrast, and I'm like, yeah, I know.  "Oh, you've done this before." "Yeah, twice."
It was agony though because the barium I drank gave me the worst diarrhea ever.  And I was in the room that was the furthest from the restroom.  Of course.  It got to the point that as soon as I got back in bed I had to get up and go to the bathroom again.
While I was waiting for the results of that test, I finally gave in and took the pain meds.  Synthetic morphine.  It was pretty much awesome and I wished I hadn't waited until 6am to give in and take it.  I just laid there and didn't care about anything.  Eventually I got the results back and found out I didn't have appendicitis, instead I have a huge, 4cm cyst on my right ovary.  So, I had to have a pelvic scan to get a closer look.  Which was weird because I was having a hell of a time staying awake and I could tell I was worrying the technician. 
I then had to wait a couple hours because of the data-sharing issue.  Basically, my cyst is probably leaking and evidently cyst-leaky-fluid is mean and irritating which is probably why it hurts more when I stand or sneeze or move or stuff like that.  They finally let me out sometime after 1pm.  I don't remember much because I was still morphine.  The gave my oxycotin enough for through Sunday.
I went to my gynecologist yesterday like I was supposed to- which is another saga in and of itself.  I'm high on oxycotin and mom dropped me off because she didn't want me to walk any distance and we were going to meet up in the office because I'm running lateish.  I realise I'm not 100% sure which office it is, so I ask the lady at the reception desk.  She says room 311 and I'm like, huh, that doesn't sound right, but whatever, maybe they moved.  I take the elevator and stumble around on the 3rd floor until I come to 311... and it's a pediatrician.  Last I check "Capital OBGYN" doesn't sound anything like "Dr Simon, pediatrician."  So I stumble around some more until I come to the correctly titled room-plaque.  Seriously, reception desk lady?  I honestly couldn't tell you how I got there, I don't remember >_<
I hate going to the gynecologist because all of the patients in the waiting room always sneak peaks at your belly.  Guess what, pregnant lady, just because you got knocked up doesn't mean I'm pregnant too.  OBGYNs do more than just monitor your womb-parasite, thankyouverymuch.
So, she put me back on my birth control pill because it should prevent cysts from forming in the future.  I have to get another scan in June, if the cyst isn't going away/gone by then, I'll have to have surgery.
I'm not allowed to go to school/work until Monday and then I have to take it easy for a couple months.  Forced vacation, I guess.


  1. Oh man. That is a saga. :( I'm sorry, Em. I love you, despite the fact that you have a leaky cyst. Ew. So by taking it easy the next couple of months, what exactly is required for that?

  2. So, I don't really remember writing this post, lol. It is bad that I was laughing at my own comments? Because I honestly don't remember ever authoring them, especially the paragraph about womb-parasites.