Googling myself = stage name

It's a mixed blessing being the only person with my name in the world.  On one hand, I'm super easy to find on Facebook... if you can spell my name, that is.  On the other, I'm super easy to find on Facebook.  And google.  I've already had completely random people who've come to see shows I've been in friend me on Facebook, which is a little freaky.  If you google my name, one of the first things that comes up is my genological profile (after info on a show I was in five years ago), which is horrifying.  I don't mind having my name and my face out there, but holy shit, nobody needs to know where I was born and what my brother and sister's names are.
So, that said, I need to think of a stage name.  I have some projects coming up and the sooner I make the change, the better.

First names:
Emmeline - the real one.  Problem, most people don't pronounce it right and it's aggravating.
Emma - the nickname most people know me by.  Problem, just too many of "Emma"s out there.
Lena - sort of a nickname for my name (Emeline in German is pronounced emma-leena) that I've been thinking about a lot lately.

Last names are all family names because I'm not clever enough to come up with something on my own:
Conway - I don't know.  I don't think it quite flows right with anything.
Heim - While I feel closest to this one in terms of familial, um, feeling, the pronunciation thing is a bitch.
Arden - The Shakespeare reference is fitting, methinks.
Winter(s) - I don't have anything witty to say.  I just like it.
I would totally put Wilde on the list for funsies, but it's Olivia Wilde's stage-name and she's blicky.

Mix and match people! Mix and match!

I really hate making decisions.  I am very good at them, detachedly weighing pros and cons.  I know what I want in life.  So what's my problem?  The soul-crushing fear that I will make the wrong one and eff up the rest of my life.
I made a bad one last semester, deciding to go to UMBC because it was easy.  Really, that was the deciding factor.  I would go to UMBC to complete my BFA because I could still live at home.  Then, once I finished there I'd go to England to get my masters.
Now, I know with my health issues I should take it easy on myself, but I am plagued by the feeling that I am wasting my time.  UMBC is getting me no closer to being a professional actor.
I managed to claw my way through the semester and sign up for fall classes.  I was okay for about a week.  Then all of the sudden it hit me- there is no way I could get through 3 more semesters (at least) at UMBC with my soul still intact.  Cue horrible depression and a week of me sobbing at my mother that I physically, emotionally and mentally can't face another semester of UMBC, and her saying back "What, you want to drop out?" Or, "You need to talk to someone at UMBC!" (yeah, because academic advisers there would give unbaised advice about my thousands of dollars leaving them)
I would love nothing more than to drop out of college and move to New York or LA or London and make a go at being a professional actor.  However, I am mature enough to realise that's the path to being a barrista for the rest of my life.  I think that going to a conservatory in one of those cities for a year or two, and making connections during that time, is a much more realistic way to go about it.  In the end, the degree is not what I'm after.  I just want school as a spring board.
So, I found a school that offers a two year acting course, with an option of additional two years for a BFA.  AMDA has campuses in both NYC and LA and looks like it would be a good foundation.  I can go to school in NYC and still come back to Maryland for visits semi-regularly.  If I decide in a few years I really need the degree, I'll go back to school and finish the BFA.

Last night I had dinner with my film group friends while we planned an experimental film.  They're all at least twenty-years older than me, and they're all people who are getting into film (behind and in front of the camera) after doing the "college, job job job job" thing.  They were all very supportive of my plans, and said they wished they'd had to courage to do the same when they were my age, so that was affirming.  What really terrifies me is the thought of being old and looking back on my life and wishing I'd "gone for it."

So, now the scary part.  I need to pull out of UMBC and get my act together to apply for AMDA for the fall semester.  I'm terrified to put my eggs in one basket- what if I don't get accepted, I'll have wasted six more months, etc...  I have reached the dreaded fork-in-the-road.  Hopefully I've made the right turn...

BARN CATS!

In Cell-block 13, Prisoner Coco plots her eventual escape using nothing but a plastic spork and a litter box.

Fierce Mouse Warrior, Mighty Puff!

Mighty Bird Stalker, Deadly Coco!

Aaaaand... Puff wanted a cute peeking picture too.

Ovaries are stupid

So on Tuesday when I was waiting for my acupuncture appointment, I got this horrible pain in my lower right side.  I do get those kinds of pain whenever I ovulate, so I didn't really think much about it, aside from "Holy shit, that hurts ALOT more than usual."  I haven't had my period in forever (like, since October forever) so I thought maybe the reason it hurt so much was my machinery is rusty, so to speak.  My acupuncturist even did some pain points during treatment, which helped a little, but not as much as it usually does.  She commented at the end that my pain pulse was "punchy" which is super weird for me.
So the day goes on and the pain never goes away.  I also just didn't feel "right."  I couldn't put my finger on it, but I felt weird.  Eventually my mom says that it does hurt where my appendix is.  I look up appendicitis, and I pretty much had every symptom.  Despite this, which I think says how bad I was feeling, I didn't mention anything about it and just went and laid down.  Around midnight my mom looked it up and realised I had every symptom.  She wanted to take me to the hospital and I honestly just wanted to sleep.  Eventually she convinces me I need to go to the hospital and we get there close to 1am.
I had bloodwork and an IV port (which made me feel shittier than it usually does.  I always get sick when I have blood drawn, this time it was worse, of course) and waited an hour to be told, congrats, I'm not pregnant.  (I have a rant about the mandatory pregnancy tests, which you the patient pay for, but I'll save it for another time when I'm not struggling against oxycotin to write).  The doctor comes over another hour later and pokes around until he finds the magic spot where I'm like "HOLY F CK THAT HURTS." And he goes, "Well, looks like appendicitis.  You'll need a CT scan."  So, over the course of three hours I'm supposed to drink about 30oz of barium.  Which made me feel even more nauseous than I was, and I had to be given IV meds for it which made me even more tired than I was.
So I go the scan and have to wait much longer than usual for the results because they were working on the network or something and having data sharing issues.  I've clearly had too many tests in the past, because they start telling me with and how it's going to make me feel weird when they inject the contrast, and I'm like, yeah, I know.  "Oh, you've done this before." "Yeah, twice."
It was agony though because the barium I drank gave me the worst diarrhea ever.  And I was in the room that was the furthest from the restroom.  Of course.  It got to the point that as soon as I got back in bed I had to get up and go to the bathroom again.
While I was waiting for the results of that test, I finally gave in and took the pain meds.  Synthetic morphine.  It was pretty much awesome and I wished I hadn't waited until 6am to give in and take it.  I just laid there and didn't care about anything.  Eventually I got the results back and found out I didn't have appendicitis, instead I have a huge, 4cm cyst on my right ovary.  So, I had to have a pelvic scan to get a closer look.  Which was weird because I was having a hell of a time staying awake and I could tell I was worrying the technician. 
I then had to wait a couple hours because of the data-sharing issue.  Basically, my cyst is probably leaking and evidently cyst-leaky-fluid is mean and irritating which is probably why it hurts more when I stand or sneeze or move or stuff like that.  They finally let me out sometime after 1pm.  I don't remember much because I was still morphine.  The gave my oxycotin enough for through Sunday.
I went to my gynecologist yesterday like I was supposed to- which is another saga in and of itself.  I'm high on oxycotin and mom dropped me off because she didn't want me to walk any distance and we were going to meet up in the office because I'm running lateish.  I realise I'm not 100% sure which office it is, so I ask the lady at the reception desk.  She says room 311 and I'm like, huh, that doesn't sound right, but whatever, maybe they moved.  I take the elevator and stumble around on the 3rd floor until I come to 311... and it's a pediatrician.  Last I check "Capital OBGYN" doesn't sound anything like "Dr Simon, pediatrician."  So I stumble around some more until I come to the correctly titled room-plaque.  Seriously, reception desk lady?  I honestly couldn't tell you how I got there, I don't remember >_<
I hate going to the gynecologist because all of the patients in the waiting room always sneak peaks at your belly.  Guess what, pregnant lady, just because you got knocked up doesn't mean I'm pregnant too.  OBGYNs do more than just monitor your womb-parasite, thankyouverymuch.
So, she put me back on my birth control pill because it should prevent cysts from forming in the future.  I have to get another scan in June, if the cyst isn't going away/gone by then, I'll have to have surgery.
I'm not allowed to go to school/work until Monday and then I have to take it easy for a couple months.  Forced vacation, I guess.

30 Day Song Challenge: Day One, Your Favourite Song

My sister is doing the 30 day song challenge on Facebook.  I might also post it on Facebook, but since I have youngens and people who are, um, easily offended in my friends list, I might also just do it here.  Plus, I feel like 30 days is excessive, so I'm just going to do the ones I want.

The challenge?

day 01 - your favorite song
day 02 - your least favorite song
day 03 - a song that makes you happy
day 04 - a song that makes you sad
day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 - a song that you know all the words to
day 09 - a song that you can dance to
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 - a song from your favorite band
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

So, first problem... I have too many favourite songs.

First candidate: Sonne, by Rammstein.

Another is Fire it Up by Black Label Society. (Super lame video tho... what the heck BLS?)

And I'd be telling a lie if I didn't include Rosenrot (Rose-red), another Rammstein song. (Unfortunately, the video quality is crap... but I couldn't find another one with subtitles I agreed with that didn't offend my aesthetic principles.)

How could I have forgotten Rammstein's Mann Gegen Mann (Man Against Man)?

Oh yeah!  I love Otep too!

Blood Pigs

Eet the Children (no, I didn't spell that wrong)

Smash the Control Machine

Okay, okay, just one more?  Okay, two...  I forgot Oomph, all right?

Sex hat keine Macht (Sex has no Power) which I couldn't find a video with English subtitles, which is odd since it's one of their more widely known songs.  They're here if you care.

Die Schlinge (The Noose) also by Oomph.  You might recognize Apocalyptica in the video.

Okay, I'm just giving up.  See, too many!

Happy birthday to Laura! Happy Unbirthday to me!

So, today is my bestie's birthday.  I think I got some kind of weird cosmic mix-up, because I am having an awesome day.  Hopefully Lar is having an awesome day too, otherwise it's unfair.

First thing, I completely forgot to do my homework for Script Analysis.  But, turns out I didn't have to... because we're reading... THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST!  Which is only my favourite play, after all.  I've played Gwendolen twice and am currently scheming to play Cecily, and I can practically recite the play backwards.
Don't believe me?

Jack goes: On the contrary, Aunt Augusta, I’ve now realised for the first time in my life the vital Importance of Being Earnest.
But before that Lady B went: My nephew, you seem to be displaying signs of triviality.
And before that they all went: At last! At last! At last!
And before Jack was like: My own one!
Which was a response to Gwendolen going: I can. For I feel that you are sure to change.
Which was because Jack said: Gwendolen, it is a terrible thing for a man to find out suddenly that all his life he has been speaking nothing but the truth. Can you forgive me?

Need I go on?
The best part was when the professor was trying to get out of us why Earnest is still so good after 120-some years.  Nobody was getting the answer she was looking for until I said "Because Oscar Wilde crafted an exceptional plot full of juxtapositions and reversals..." and she was so happy that I said it she practically kissed me.  But really, it's obvious, right? ;)

"Guess what, Cecily? I didn't have to do my homework because I've been in The Importance of Being Earnest! Twice!' "Really, Gwendolen? I had no idea."

The second best part was getting our Macbeth essays back.  I was terrified because I didn't think I did well.  We thought the essay was going to be due the next Wednesday and the professor changed her mind and wanted us to do it in class that Friday... and I discovered this Thursday night.  So I felt under-prepared and I wasn't feeling well.  And we wrote them in blue books, to boot.  I hate blue book essays.  When I write an essay I often write the middle first, then the closing and very last I write the introduction.  Obviously, when one is writing in a blue book instead of on the computer, one doesn't have that luxury.  It took me an hour to write the first page because I was agonizing over the exact words to use, and I only had an hour to write the rest.  Ooops.  Just as I started my second support paragraph, my arm died.  "The end!" my arm said. "I cannot possibly write another paragraph."  I suffered my way through that one.  As I was debating on my third point my brain said "Um... sorry, but I am completely done.  Then end.  No more."  So, I scrapped a couple brain cells together to come up with a half-decent emergency closing.   I barely wrote 4 pages, and she expected us to fill up almost the whole book.

The "Procrastination" episode of SpongeBob Squarepants perfectly illustrates how I write an essay.

So, I wasn't expecting to get a good grade at all.  In fact, I thought I'd be super lucky to get a C.  When I got to class and the professor mentioned she was going to give the essays back, I braced myself.  She prefaced by saying that 8.5 (out of 10) was the average grade.  Well, I got the essay back... and I got an 8.5!  Happy Day! 

Then, I made my way over to Acting II.  I really wasn't feeling it today, but, "carry on" and all that.  I made it to class in good time but the door was still locked, which isn't that unusual.  As a couple other students and I were waiting, someone got out their smartphone and checked their email... and it turns out that class was canceled!
So I got to go home and play Dragon Age II (the brand new squeal to one of my favourite RPGs, just got it yesterday... awesome, awesome game!) while Shane was still at HCC and Vi was still sleeping.  Which was excellent because the haggling over the Xbox has gotten intense since last night.  My virtual relatly fix sated, I have nothing to do for the rest of the day and can lounge around.  Yay!

"World, meet Daisy. Daisy, meet Vet."

The Dewdster and Maisy-head Daisy

Meet Daisy.  She's a 9mos old terrier mix of some kind.  She's getting along amazingly well with the other dogs.  Lady is enjoying being the "dowager queen" and Dewey likes having somebody to play with.

Despite only being in our house since Friday, Daisy has already had her first emergency vet visit.  Oh, milestones.

While Dewey and Daisy and I were taking a nap on the sofa (post after-class romp and walk) Viveca comes up and she goes "Oh my- look at Daisy's eyes!" Her eyelids were pink and swollen, so Mom called the vet... and was put on hold for 10 minutes.  So Mom, Vi and I make an emergency vet trip.  I went along for moral support.
When we get there, Daisy's eyelids were all swollen up and her mouth-corner had started to swell too.  And the receptionist tells us to wait while she explains the payment plan to somebody.  Um, no, we will not wait.
Longish story shortish, they took Daisy back and hooked her up to an IV and pumped her little puppy-body full of antihistamines.  We had to leave for an anxious hour or so while they kept and eye on her to make sure she did okay.  The swelling went down, but she has to go back in the morning and will be taking Prednisone  and Benadryl over the next couple days.  Poor puppy.
The scary part is we have absolutely no idea what caused her to blow up like a little puppy-balloon.  At first we thought it might have been from her vaccines she got yesterday, but since that was over 24hrs before she broke out, it's very unlikely.  Fortunately, Lady has a bunch of allergies so we already have experience dealing with sensitive puppies' needs.

The White Badge of Courage